i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize