You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
