the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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