Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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