why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
