Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
