She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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