You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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