and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
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