She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
