i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
