i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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