I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
