so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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