Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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