Ambien. No doubt about it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
