omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
