My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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