Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
