What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize