okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
