puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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