I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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