Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just gargled with NyQuil
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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