sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize