Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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