You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
