I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
That reminds me...we need to get swords
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
