i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
