if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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