Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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