we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
