I'm passing your future prison.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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