just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
