I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
