So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
