every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
