Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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