..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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