This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
