Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
