"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
