The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
