Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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