hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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