I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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