He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
FUCK WHALES
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
