Someone shit on the floor
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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