Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
