she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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