I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
my poor anus
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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