He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
