Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think people are normalizing furries
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
