I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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