I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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