Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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