I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
