dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
