dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
