i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
