All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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