would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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