he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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