At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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